Fraility

I seem to be in a quandary... No matter the direction no matter the personal cost I am destined to do the one thing I hate to do... Hurt those that are close to me... I can't seem to find my voice amidst the heart of reason. I am only a man I only feel human emotions, yet I wonder what is it that I am afraid of? Life? Death? Love? Failure? all the above? I have no clue how to proceed in a delicate matter when I am not delicate. Life has forged me hard and cruel yet not by choice. I am unwavering in my devotion to my principles even though at times I wonder what those are and what I mean by them... If I must be something, If I must be , Why not someone that can overlook the frailties of the human emotion. Why must I when I know I should feel empowered and overjoyed, feel such weakness... Such pain... Why must I doubt. Do I really mean what I say or is it just rhetoric to appease the masses I know not. But this I do know I am a survivor I can with God do all things... I don't see the Future but I cant let my past become my future. This day I choose which way to go. and there is no turning back no 2nd guessing no hope for a different tomorrow, It is becoming something in the wee hours of morning. When My mind says I will. I put my trust not in the Arm of Flesh but in the Rock of my salvation. As I know that I am. I know that God is. And I know that he will reveal the truth of all things if I have but faith in him. Yet I doubt... those all to common weaknesses made apparent to my scrutinous gaze. I see my faults laid before me like a puzzle with no answer.