Opinions and consequences

So I have been humbled, and it took no more than a simple letter from a father to his children, I have been struggling to try to be a help to my family and to be a common ground for the rift that has occurred in it. I am failing, try as I might words fail me. I feel so tired of the constant blame of others that has been happening on a nigh constant basis. The petty power struggles to be sure that we as individuals are right, and others must see us as right as well.

Something has to change, and I know that it is not in my power to change other people, it has to be me that I change, my habits both in communication and application have to become more pure. I must be more full of a Christ-like love. I need to act upon the idea that every action I do is either doing one of two things, loving my neighbor or not loving my neighbor.

I need to realize that the words I say need to be spoken with absolute love, with compassion for another soul. I have to work on allowing others to disagree with me, and not feeling like I have to convince them to my way of thinking. I see the world differently than anyone else can possibly see it, I see it as I experience it. No one else can see it my way, for only I have walked the path that I have tread in this life.

I am responsible for my actions and I will pay the natural consequences of them, it doesnt make the consequence any less to say it was someone elses fault, that I acted because of something that was done or said to me by another. Only I can choose for me, and ultimately I must be held accountable for the results of those choices.

Those that know me know me to be a concerned person for the needs and desires of others, if there is a need I can fill I try to have an attitude that I will do what I can to fix it. But I am realizing something, God is the only one that can "fix" things, I am merely a tool in his hands at times. Sometimes I feel like a cheap wal-mart tool, the kind that will break the first time it encounters a little resistance.

So I move forward this day and all the others to come with a faith that I will be able to be more loving in my actions and in my speech, and that while I cant always be in agreement with my neighbor, I can still love them.

Its ok to have a Crap day; as long as it doesnt become a Crap tomorrow...

So I was having a really bad day yesterday, based mostly on only getting a few solid hours of sleep. (it was not a good night either). After talking to a few close friends and kind of just letting things off my chest, I felt a little better, but still junky.

I was trying my best to modify my attitude and nothing was working, at least to the point of me being content and fairly happy with my lot in life. Its weird cause its hard to keep me down for too long, I am usually the type that chooses to be happy inspite of it all.

Towards the end of the day I went to a small discussion group that me and my friends put together to just study the gospel and help others understand it. It was just the therapy I needed. I am probably considered a loud mouth in the group because I always have something to say about whatever topic is being brought up. I love the Gospel and all it has done in my life, and I want to share that with others.

So after my personal therapy session ;) I was talking to my friend and it came to me, that despite all it being such a dissappointing day, thats all it had to be, I dont have to let it affect tomorrow or the next day or the next day. Life happens and bad days are just a part of it. I learned that its ok to not be perfectly happy all the time, because life will change back around, as long as we take one day at a time. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, not yesterday, not tomorrow, but today. So take your crap days, cause they happen, but remember that tomorrow is a day that everything starts over. So dont let the mistakes of yesterday ruin the promise of today.

The joys of living as a bachelor :)

Its not so bad really, I make food I love and enjoy, no one tells me when to go to bed, and I get to pay all my own expenses like a real adult would.

Speaking of food, I made spaghetti tonight :) a definite favorite, if a girl can make a better sauce than I, I would so just get down on one knee on the spot... lol. Its different everytime since I don't really follow a set recipe or anything just a few select spices that are amazing.

So if you ever want good homemade pasta give me a call we will make a date of it. ;)

Working on the remodel

So I have decided that Remodels are not my cup of tea, its always such a chaotic mess to do, specially in a house that is still being lived in. Constant shuffling of things from one room to another, as soon as that area gets finished then the stuff gets moved back into it along with more stuff from the next area. On the brightside though it is getting done. Just finished the downstairs living room painting. next on the list is Carpet and baseboards. Its been pretty good though, I get to play with all sorts of different aspects of home building that I really hadnt ever done before. (i.e. Drywall, Painting, flooring and such)

On a different note I had a thought occur to me today, now it may have just been the paint fumes talking but I was thinking that I need to get moving, not in a physical sense of movement but in a directional sense of making forward progress in my life. I can only do so much at my present state of being, so in order to progress I need to change a few things that are holding me in place.

Hmmm I think I will do this more often haha

So I have been thinking lately that it was time to restart my blog, not something I take lightly I am going to totally reformat and start over with fresh ideas in the areas of growing up, being alive, and what it means to love. I find that the less I express myself, the less faith I have in my ability to do so. Something has been on my mind a great deal though and that is what is it that brings people to reach out and connect to each other? Is it simply a wish to be understood? Or something even deeper, something that gives so much more than we can put into it. If scientists could harness the power of friends it would lead to unlimited potential.

Life is simply too good and too important to just float through, it takes movement, to fully invest of ourselves in something bigger than ourselves is required to take advantage of all life has to offer.